bread and cupcake crumbs
by nancy hill
today I am thinking about
polka dots
birthday parties
babies that i love
but scarcely know
trajectories
unknown then
a mothers sister’s mother
loved me less than all her other mothers
in decades beyond remembrance
her toddler tentacles of charm
and distributed intelligence
ensnared me no less
caught
between daughters
one of blood and heart
one of heart and law
distance has impoverished
more than our poverty
the distance of heart is quantum
the insurmountable distance of mind
between father and daughter
without motherly intervention
spawned a gulf
where shadows of resentment flash beneath the surface
school and move en masse
amid bread and cupcake crumbs
nov. 27, 11
nfh
Home and Family
Thanksgiving approaches and it is a special one.
Aren’t they all? My daughter graduates from college in a few weeks and moves away. She stayed in the old hometown for college, and so this move away is her first real move away from home. I’ve considered myself in the same category as empty nesters for a couple years, and my daughter considers herself independent, though my wallet disagrees, but I’m very happy I’ve had so much time with her. I never had sisters, my mother and I were never close, so my daughter and I learned a lot from each other. I’m so thankful we have had all this time. She has been so good for me, and I will miss her only being a few minutes away at most.
We moved in here, to our current residence, almost 21 years ago to the day. My daughter was 11 months old then. The house didn’t have A/C, central heating, or anything but a lone palm tree, an undernourished pomegranate tree, and a spindly ornamental orange tree in the front yard. It is pretty lush now. The house has 600 square ft more now than it did then. It now has a roof deck, a flagstone patio, and a sprinkler system. I’ve lived here longer than I’ve ever lived anywhere in my life. This home is the only one my daughter remembers. This house has become home in a sense that rivals my childhood home, a family farm, and the land there to which I still feel a nearly visceral connection.
I am enjoying home and family in a celebration of thanksgiving.