You were close. Maybe you could not stand each other. Or perhaps you were indifferent. Sibling relationships are as complex as any relationship in life, or death.
As I write this I am 58 years old. At one time this might have been considered old. I do not feel old. I am not old. Old is always 20 years beyond where you are. Old for me would be when I am older than 75 and also in ill health. 75 need not be old. Old presents as an attitude.
My mother lived to be 92 years of age. I turned 50 a month before she passed. Her younger sister also lived to be 92. I work under the assumption that my body can probably last that long too. Good genes. Probably.
But when my father died at age 71 I was in my late twenties, it was 1986. When I rode back to my mother’s house with the youngest of my four brothers from the hospital shortly after our Dad died, I remember saying to him, “I can’t believe I am going to have to go through this five more times.” My brother looked at me and said, “Oh, I’ve never thought of that. You are right.”
Those five times have happened. April 1998. March 2005. June 2007. November 2014. July 2015.
I am not alone, my husband and daughter are my family now. But I miss my family, the one with which I grew up.
There is no good help source for dealing with the loss of multiple siblings. The only person I ever met who talked about this was my neighbor who lived to be 105. Her baby sister lived to be almost 100. They had each other for almost a century.
I will live the rest of my life without parents or brothers. It could be another 30+ years when I will be the only one of my generation left living. Yes, there are cousins, but I did not know them well, and most of them, too, just like my brothers, were much older than me.
From time to time I will post about sibling loss. Someone should.