Regular readers will find this to differ from my usual post, at first glance. Social action that sees light on this blog is often political, but at this time of the year, when everyone is thinking of family, family gatherings, and tradition, I’ve decided to take a moment to consider youths whose family structure is so fragmented that they essentially have no family or are in danger of being torn apart by the foster and adoptive systems from the only loving relationship they know – that of a sibling.
This week U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, AdoptUSKids and the Ad Council are unveiling a new series of public service advertisements (PSAs) to encourage the adoption of children from foster care with an emphasis on the importance of keeping siblings together. This is legit. The program itself is 10 years old. The gist of the idea is that no one needs be perfect to be a needed, appreciated, and loved parent.
I said good-bye to a brother last month. But I had him 57 years before he died at age 66. I cannot imagine how I could have survived without family, even my imperfect big brothers. I know there are many mid-lifers who have aged out of biological parenting almost accidentally. It isn’t too late to provide love and all the imperfect parenting you have to offer to older kids and siblings who desperately need you.
Give yourself the gift of checking into adoptuskids.org. Consider: Older parents, older kids. Successful singles of a certain age who thought about being a parent but never found the right partner.
Growing up I knew a brother and sister who were adopted together. I thought that was wonderful then, and I think it is even more wonderful now. I have a friend who lost both parents in High School but she and her brother were not separated. My cousin was adopted. People I care about had people who cared enough to make them family.
Check out AdoptUsKids on Facebook. There are currently 402,000 children in the foster care system in the US. 102,000 children, under 18 years of age, are waiting for adoption. They are waiting to have you share your life, your regular old life, with them.
As an adoptive parent with an open adoption, your thoughts are right on target. Although we did not adopt our son’s half sibling (she was adopted by her biological grandfather), we are in regular contact with her and her family. These open, blended families whether within the same household or in an extended family relationship are important for making successful “forever” families.
I’d love to reblog this on my blog, but don’t see a link to do that from yours. May I therefore cut and paste with a link to this original blog?
Thanks.
Joanne
Of course, Joanne, blog and re-blog away!
I’m definitely sharing this because It just breaks my heart! I have a couple of different friends who are foster parents and many who have adopted children. Everyone needs someone.
It breaks my heart too. And you are so right. Everyone needs someone and this is more than true for kids.
I wish we were in a position to do this. My husband absolutely won’t for reasons of his own, but it’s something I definitely would do if I could. Blessings to all foster parents who really want to help!
I cannot adopt, but I helped raise a great niece when she was just getting started in school. I wanted to adopt her but it was not possible. If I can’t do it, I can at least help spread the word and keep in the circulating world of possibility.
Beautiful post, Nancy. I cried. family is so important. May I post it on facebook where more people are likely to see it? I know that life is very tough for kids who age out of foster care. I have a friend in Florida who is trying to do something for SOME of them with a 501C3 CALLED GREEN VISTAS, (see on fb – wp won’t let me put in a url
hugs, gerry
Post away Gerry! I will check out Green Vistas. Far too often aging out might as well be throwing away. It is so horrible!
When my nest first emptied, I seriously considered this… but didn’t adopt after all for a variety of reasons.
So very many kids who need a home; it’s just heartbreaking. I’m tweeting the need. Thank you so much for sharing this!
Thank you for considering adopting. The more that consider adopting, the more homes and families that are completed. And thank you for sharing the post.
I often think of doing this as well, but the timing is always off. It’s a wonderful thing to do for sure. There are so many older kids that need love and security too!
Kids need love and stability. If we share the info, maybe a kid can find a family.
Important thoughts. Important message! I hope everyone not only reads but shares!
Ruth, that is why I felt compelled to write and share!
I was a foster parent for years and I adopted my oldest daughter from the foster system when she was 10. I have 4 adopted grandchildren. Our family would not be complete without these blessings.
This is a great post and if any of you ever thought of adopting an older child I can tell you it is an amazing experience, go for it!
I hope more follow your example!
Such an important post about a topic that just makes me cry. I hope, by raising awareness, every child — whatever their age — finds a permanent home and people who keep them safe and loved.
Children who are alone in this world break my heart.
My husband’s younger brother is adopted and it so changed his life for the better. He met his birth mother a few years ago, and now knows that he has a far better life than he would have had if she could have kept him.
There are reasons for closed adoption, but more information is almost always a good thing.
Any child alone breaks my heart. No one should ever be alone. I wish we had the means to do this, Nancy, but alas times have been difficult. I hope you post brings about at least one adoption. Good for the new public relations campaign and for people like you who are writing about it.
Every child should be loved, wanted, treasured, I wish I could do this, but health and other complications keep me from doing this. At least I can help bring a bit more awareness to the topic, bring it into the light.