E is for Essential

Essential for You

Often writing prompts will ask , “What is essential to you?” Questions such as this, too often, elicit a short answers that are quite predictable. Family. Parents. Children. My church.

These are great answers, but somewhat uninformative. A conscious shift in perspective allows a more complete understanding of priorities in life.

When contemplating and recording such personal motivations I recommend taking your time and returning to this prompt over time so ideas develop as you contemplate them.

Essential for Others

The first thing I would have you ask of yourself is, are the things and actions (not the people) you believe are essential to you essential because you truly find them essential or because you have adopted someone else’s view of what is essential as your own. Women do this less than in the past but women often still put other’s needs above their own.

Clear yourself of what is essential to others and focus on what is essential to you to be what you want to be.

Do you fiercely want to write that memoir? Figure out what is necessary to make that dream become a reality. It may mean writing 4 hours every day, and giving up other things you now do, purchasing the software to proof your draft, saving funds for a an editor. This things may require you to shift away from perfection in tasks that others expect you to handle.

This is just one example, but if you monitor how you determine essentials, what you add and what you drop, then you have learned something about yourself, your values, and your desires that you can write about as part of your memoir.

Essential or Necessary

It may inform you and and your eventual reader to have a list of what was necessary to accomplish what is essential to you.

This list might reveal how you prioritize your life. Your necessities might include:

• Morning meditation
• Fountain pen
• Chocolate snacks
• Your favorite coffee to focus
• Music to write by
• A walk or run to energize you

Do these necessities all revolve around comfort and reward? What does that tell you?

Or if your list is immensely practical and made up of spare printer supplies, a seat at a co-working space, or finding just the right desk for your office, and a ticket to travel to a location to do research.

Giving yourself permission to figure out what is necessary and essential to you allows you to access the context of daily life and lifelong goals so that you can write beyond simple answers.

Sufficient

Sufficiency might also be something you want to throw in to your self-assessment prompt. Unmet needs and dreams are not pertinent to everyone. If you have lived long, and well, you might find you are content. If this fortunate circumstance is yours then you might want to figure out, and record, the sufficiencies in your life that have lead to contentment. These will be very different for each person. Unlocking your keys to contentment (not necessarily to happiness) are certainly worth sharing in a memoir.