• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer
Women's Legacy Project
  • Home
  • About
  • How To Curate
  • Our Collective Legacy
  • Writing Online Memoir
  • Blog
Women's Legacy Project > Blog > CREATE > Blogging & Writing > Sometimes I Detest Facebook

Sometimes I Detest Facebook

Written by: womenslegacy
Published: March 29, 2015 -- Last Modified: March 29, 2015
2 Comments

This NYT piece was recently posted by a friend who uses meta-communication in a nuanced way, even though the article is, gasp, from 2014.  How unhip and anti-immediate, to the point of being totally non-viral.

06FUTURETENSE-superJumbo

Patrick Leger

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/06/fashion/social-media-some-susceptible-to-internet-outrage.html

Social media, especially something like Facebook, for those who do not mask themselves or engage in life behind pseudonyms, can be a sad and tumultuous business.  So why do we do continue to tweet, post, and generally live in the land of memes? At one level it is because it is easy, and at another level it is horrendously difficult.  

I first used Facebook to connect and engage with fellow peace activists and other bleeding edge street theater producers and actors.  The rah-rah, me-too nature of social media was one of the things I liked about staying connected with the beautiful, most often sisterly, souls I came to know during short, often intense moments in the trenches of social justice movements.  Facing off against masked (shielded visor) and armored storm troopers engenders the same sort of camaraderie soldiers know.  We came from and returned to communities scattered across the US where we were unlikely to ever meet in real life. Sharing stories and information with these women does validate and reinforce some of my core beliefs; it lets me know I am not alone.  

Then friends I grew up with, many who still live in the small, Bible-belt, conservative farming and non-unionized factory town in which I grew up joined Facebook.  These are people I met when I first went to school: grade-school and high-school friends.  Some never left the area and live within 5 miles from where they lived as kids.  Some left and returned.  Some left.  Some died.  Far too many killed themselves.  

Then there is the husband thing, and the extended family thing.  There is no way to lump these dear people into one group.  

My husband is a freaking neuro-chemist type academic type person.  He is brilliant, yes, and he mediates a 5000 member person Facebook group from HIS hometown.  He walks a time-space-warped fence-top between the “Hooligan Heights” neighborhood in which he grew up and the ETH in Zurich where he did his post-doctoral training.

My step-daughter’s in-laws are able to travel to the far corners of the world for vacations and have an ease of life financially that I cannot fathom.  I come from a large family that included NASA scientists, physicians, felons and pole-dancers when I look to the circle of relation that includes mother’s brothers, cousins and the children of siblings.  

To say I have a diverse perspective is probably an understatement.  

Most sane people would not try to have an open feed on their Facebook page, which I do, more or less. 

I am a writer – not the most successful or widely read writer, true, but a writer none-the-less. I am able, for some reason unbeknownst to me, to convey a personal viewpoint with some nuance and skill.  There really are things which if I do not say them, will not be said. Perhaps this is just a delusion of grandeur, but I do not think so. So I say them.  My life is rich and I am blessed with a facile mind.  So I share my experience as best I can.

I am honest, even about my inconsistencies.  I am an anthropologist who has some specialization in how meaning is constructed.  I think I confuse people.  I have not achieved a Quaker-level practice of peace, calmness and integration.  

I still try to explain.  I am trying to learn how to not over-explain.  I still believe that if people are open they can learn.  I have not given up on humanity.  I value my friends, and the connections that created the friendships.  

I tend to only engage to the point where I piss people off,  if I care about them.  The opposite of love is not hate, it is apathy.   Do I piss you off on Facebook?  It is because I love you.  I will try to say nothing to hurt you.  If you say things that are hurtful, I will not ignore them.  Achieving some level of sanity and self-value requires that I not allow you to hurt me, or others, or yourself.  

It’s complicated.  

This was fueled by one of those Facebook posts.

Categories: Blogging & Writing

Support Independent Bookstores - Visit IndieBound.org
Previous Post: « Girls Dream, Women Plan
Next Post: The A to Z of Women's Legacy »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kim Tackett

    March 29, 2015 at 9:21 am

    So that was really interesting….I recently did a piece on the mythology of facebook, and your piece is far more interesting than mine (and I’ve been thinking about it for years)…so yes, a little bit of loving pissiness,because you found another side and wrote about it so well. xo

    Reply
  2. Nancy Hill

    March 29, 2015 at 11:51 am

    Thanks Kim, Geesh I have a bunch of reading, including your post, to catch up on. Thanks for the encouragement and kind words.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badgeShow more posts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Footer

Recent Posts

  • Ending, and Beginning
  • For Our Daughters
  • Stand and Write
  • Context and Little Things
  • A Month is Just a Month… as Time Goes By
  • Processing Two Very Different Deaths
  • A Dehydrated and Delusional Friend Found Wandering in 100° Heat
  • About Women’s Legacy & Hill Research
  • Privacy Policy and Terms of Use

Archives

Powered by
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
View my Flipboard Magazine.

© 2023, Nancy Hill, Women's Legacy Project of Hill Research Services, LLC

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish.Accept Reject Read More
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT