Eddy, maelstrom, vortex. Call it whatever you will, but life sometimes moves too many things a bit faster than what I can juggle.
I do not know exactly what I dropped in the last three months, but I will find out. Maybe everything or anything that dropped bounced. Women’s History Month, The A to Z challenge, more planning for my daughter’s wedding, a conference, and a surgery for my husband sort of filled up the last many weeks. I feel accomplished but tired. I also had my 59th birthday, which means that I’m now living my 60th year.
Living with depression means that I try to find balance, as I have said many times before, between planning and doing not so much that I will fail in difficult times, but not so little that I will become bored or unwisely, perhaps overconfidently, sign up to do more when I am totally on top of my game. I think I was right at the edge of doing all I can possibly do because I have not been on top of all our finances ahead of time as is really required. And I realized that I have not been able to knock out any more on my memoir. So I had to consciously let go of co-working at the YW on Mondays, and because I coordinate it, I had to let a couple people who participated in it down. I am keeping most of the Tucson Women Bloggers meetup running for the moment. We will see whether I can add the third function back to it again in the fall.
I hear the call to become politically active again, but I am trying to ignore it. I feel like I put in enough time serving democracy and trying to steer public awareness toward information and action – years. I am so beyond party affiliation. We need people and ideas not party adherence. I am extremely concerned about the future of the United States. A hawk and a fascist go into an election and one comes out President. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke. A minority of U.S. Citizens vote. Few of those do any research into what exists behind the banal narcissistic puffery that comprises campaign rhetoric. It breaks my heart.
So I keep putting ideas and information together and hoping it will help give voice or inspiration to people who have wonderful ideas but do not voice them. If I can keep going, then others can too. We all get pulled offtrack from achieving full potential, by distinct attractive nuisances, dreams, and obstacles that beckon or snatch up from just off the path.
So it is on to the Summer months.